Sleepless Nights

It’s 1AM Wednesday morning. Most people would consider this to be late. For me this is still early. Sleep hasn’t come easily for the past few years and honestly I haven’t tried to figure out why. Strangely this is when I am most motivated. Motivated to get a new job, start projects, learn new things, eat better, work out, better my life, and starting tonight I guess online Journaling. I’ve said for a long time I want to start writing in a journal again, but if night time is the only time I’m going to want to do it I might as well make it here. I’ve started so many “blogs” and always promise to stick to them, but here we are again. I feel as though when I start one I feel like I need to give it a theme and only write about what people will want to read. Starting now I’m going to write for me. If people read it, great. If not, oh well. I feel like I’ve said that before, too. 

Today, meaning Tuesday, so I guess yearerday… either way, was an okay day. I feel myself slowly hating the adult world. I hate that I live to work and work to live and it’s making me miserable. Everything revolves around money and I don’t have any. I want to wake up excited to work and I want work to feel like it’s not work at all. I’m sure everyone feels that way. I’m 24 years old and don’t know what I want to do with my life. So many people  have suggested what they think I should do. Sometimes I get excited about things, then the excitement passes and I don’t want to do it anymore. 

My friends, family, and boyfriend make me happy.

If I could get paid to be around them 24/7 I’d be the happiest person in the world. Since I can’t I’ll stay miserable going to a job I don’t want to go to making money I don’t have for very long. 

As for right now I’m sick of writing so I suppose I’ll try and sleep for the next 3 hours. 4am is when the magic happens and my body and mind allow me to drift off. 

Goodnight. xo


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