It’s 1AM Wednesday morning. Most people would consider this to be late. For me this is still early. Sleep hasn’t come easily for the past few years and honestly I haven’t tried to figure out why. Strangely this is when I am most motivated. Motivated to get a new job, start projects, learn new things, eat better, work out, better my life, and starting tonight I guess online Journaling. I’ve said for a long time I want to start writing in a journal again, but if night time is the only time I’m going to want to do it I might as well make it here. I’ve started so many “blogs” and always promise to stick to them, but here we are again. I feel as though when I start one I feel like I need to give it a theme and only write about what people will want to read. Starting now I’m going to write for me. If people read it, great. If not, oh well. I feel like I’ve said that before, too.
Today, meaning Tuesday, so I guess yearerday… either way, was an okay day. I feel myself slowly hating the adult world. I hate that I live to work and work to live and it’s making me miserable. Everything revolves around money and I don’t have any. I want to wake up excited to work and I want work to feel like it’s not work at all. I’m sure everyone feels that way. I’m 24 years old and don’t know what I want to do with my life. So many people have suggested what they think I should do. Sometimes I get excited about things, then the excitement passes and I don’t want to do it anymore.
My friends, family, and boyfriend make me happy.
If I could get paid to be around them 24/7 I’d be the happiest person in the world. Since I can’t I’ll stay miserable going to a job I don’t want to go to making money I don’t have for very long.
As for right now I’m sick of writing so I suppose I’ll try and sleep for the next 3 hours. 4am is when the magic happens and my body and mind allow me to drift off.